Parenting truths and what I didn't expect

Many of us feel triggered while parenting, especially as our kids reach the age of a time in our lives when we were struggling or found difficult. I see this coming up and again and again for myself and others that I work with. 

Good parents aren’t perfect people who have no wounding or unresolved issues; good parents are those who show their kids their flaws with acceptance for themselves and those who continue to learn about their own behavior they don’t want to repeat. We all repeat things we didn’t like as kids. Good parents work to meet their kids needs as much as possible- needs we all have to be seen, heard and fully express ourselves. No one gets this right all the time. The more we can do this the more secure our kids will feel in relationship with themselves and others. 

Most people can't recall many particularly “bad” memories from our childhoods, however many of us grew up in emotionally disconnected homes where our parents over worked, were distracted, ill, or shut down, and as children we had to figure out and process a lot of (practical or emotional) things out on our own. Alot of unresolved wounds for people come from not what happened to them but also what didn’t happen, support and understanding they needed but didn’t get leading them to wonder “whats wrong with me?”. Nothing is wrong with you. 

Despite this, the good news is “there are islands of security in every insecure mind”. I heard that quote recently and it reminded me there is always hope for us as parents to build and nurture a safer and more secure home for our kids than we may have had growing up and build on the areas of security we have and they in turn will have. 

If you are struggling parenting your child, we can help you work through it with individual, couple and/or family therapy. . Let's BE REAL TOGETHER

~ Laura, Clinical Therapist Call (506) 651-1239 or BOOK ONLINE