It's Okay to Not Feel Joy This Christmas Season

As Christmas approaches, I want to take a moment to remind you that it’s okay if you’re not feeling the holiday joy this year. For many of us, the holidays bring up more pain than peace, or at least a mix of emotions. 

This year feels especially hard for me. As a separated parent, Christmas looks different than I once imagined it would and this year is my ex’s turn to have our kids on Christmas Eve overnight, which means for the first time in 12 years of motherhood, I won’t wake up with my kids on Christmas morning.

Navigating the emotions around that, the transitions, and the empty spaces where old traditions used to be is tough. I’ve felt the ache of loss and the heaviness of trying to hold it all together. Maybe you feel this too in one way or another, maybe this is the first holiday season without a loved one who passed this year. 

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—the love we have, the losses we carry, and the longings we haven’t yet found a way to fill. If you’re feeling triggered, overwhelmed, or even just numb, please know you’re not alone.

You don’t have to feel joy every moment of this season. It’s okay to grieve, to feel tired, or to long for things to be different. It’s okay to simply get through the holidays instead of celebrating them.

This year, I’m reminding myself that the holidays don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be real. And that includes giving myself permission to feel exactly what I feel, without judgment. I hope you’ll do the same.

Together, we’ll get through this season. One moment, one breath, one small act of kindness to ourselves at a time.

Sending you comfort and understanding from someone who is along for the ride of this messy and beautiful life with you.