Keep your sex life alive over the holidays.
Work parties, children’s parties, family time, visiting and hosting relatives, decorating, baking, shopping...and the list goes on...it's a very busy time right now.
There is no doubt it can be challenging to focus on anything but the seasonal demands.
But keep in mind, Christmas can also include an increased amount of time spent with your partner due to having time off work together and family activities. Sexual desire ebbs and flows throughout the year and throughout the seasons, but research shows that there's a spike in birthdays in September, so we know, without a doubt, that people are getting it on over the holidays - don’t lose hope that it will be a “dry” Christmas.
Here are some ways to prioritize sex when you aren't at home, possibly staying with relatives, having late nights over the holiday season…
It is important to create space for your relationship. Schedule time with your partner in your calendar just like you would a work party or any other activity.
Flirt in advance of this date, make an effort to feel connected before you spend time together. This date can be in or out; many of my clients enjoy making dinner at home, by themselves without distraction, where they can just get back to basics. Others like to try a new restaurant or activity. Remember to set boundaries around this time by putting phones away and limiting other distractions so you can be present in the moment with your partner.
Another thing I suggest is doing an adults only gift exchange (separate from the hustle of Christmas morning with family and little ones) with your partner where you give each other a sensual gift. Pinkcherry.ca is a good place to start shopping.
When lying in bed with your partner any night before going to sleep, there are lots of holiday movies that could spark intimacy. Start with a massage or cuddle and see what happens.
If you are into making resolutions, consider committing to making your sex life better by exploring yourself sexually; get to know your body, likes and dislikes and improve communication around sex with your partner.
Stress and anxiety over the holiday season can be hard on many things, so try not to overextend yourself and be intentional about what you say yes to. You can always say let me think about that and get back to you.
- Laura
PS: Got a sex question to ask me? You can ask anonymously right here. I’ll answer as many as I can in my upcoming emails.