Do people call you a control freak?
Have you ever noticed when you are not in control you feel anxious? Recently, a conversation with a close friend led me to an interesting realization..they said to me, Laura, As long as you are in control, you feel safe. It made me think back to and revisit a blog I wrote a few years ago, where I referred to myself as a "former" member of the control seeking club. This brought me to what I often notice in my clients: change is rarely a straightforward path; it's more like a winding river with unexpected twists.I then dove into the role control plays for me in my life and why it feels like such a good strategy (but really isn't)...
Control as a Safety Blanket
For many of us, the need to control lies in the sense of security it provides. It often traces back to our early years, if we experienced the world as unpredictable and chaotic. In response, we sought control as a way to anchor ourselves in the storm. It's an instinctive human response.
Empowerment Through Control
Control offers a tangible benefit—it empowers us. When we steer the ship of our lives, making decisions and taking actions aligned with our goals and values, we feel a sense of empowerment. This autonomy fosters self-determination and personal agency and when I believe in my capacity to handle life's challenges I am more resilient.
Safety as the Foundation
Let's flip the coin: safety equals trust, whereas fear often equals the need for control. When fear grips us, our instinct is to search for something to control—anything that can restore order to our world. Conversely, when we feel safe, trust blossoms, and the need for control diminishes. So in summary we don't need to control when we trust.
Turning Inward for Safety
The key to meaningful change lies in awareness. Rather than seeking to control external circumstances, we need to go inward, trusting we can handle what comes and tapping into inner resources—a skill that many of us were never taught.Learning how to regulate your emotions and find security within can be transformative.
Awareness is the key to change. Instead of trying to control what's outside of you, how can you turn inwards and find safety within yourself. If you are struggling to manage fear and find safety....Reach out to us today. Call 506-651-1239
Or BOOK ONLINE
Sign up for my weekly Mental Health Check In
~ Laura, Clinical Therapist